What if we haven't been on a date?
You can decline an approach without treating it as dating or a breakup. Try: 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not interested.' There's no need to say you aren't a match or that you want to end things.
Someone I don’t know well
Turn down someone's advances without overexplaining.
Someone you don't know well is shooting their shot, but you don't feel the same. You haven't been dating, and you don't need a breakup message. Whether it's a first DM, an offer to buy you a drink, or a request for your number, a brief, clear no is enough. Choose one reply that fits; you don't owe a stranger a conversation.
Ready-to-send scripts
StandardThanks for asking, but I'm not interested. Take care!
No thank you, I don't want to share my number.
I'm not interested in flirting or meeting up. Please respect that.
If they push back
- I've said I'm not interested. Please respect my answer.
- I don't need to explain my reasons. My answer is no.
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FAQs
How do I respond to a flirty DM from a stranger?
You can leave an unsolicited message unanswered. If you want to reply, keep it short and clear. A thank-you is optional, and you don't have to offer friendship or keep chatting.
What can I say if they ask for my number or offer me a drink?
A simple 'No thank you' is enough. For your number, you can say, 'No thank you, I don't want to share my number.' You can use these lines in person as well as over text.
Should I say I'm busy or already seeing someone?
You don't need an excuse. If you aren't interested, saying so avoids suggesting another time might work. You don't owe them details about your relationship status.
What if they ask me to give them a chance?
If you want to respond, repeat your no without debating it: 'I've said I'm not interested. Please respect my answer.' You can then end the conversation; you don't have to keep replying.
What if the attention makes me uncomfortable?
You can stop replying, block or report unwanted messages, or leave an in-person conversation. You do not have to send a final message or stay polite at the expense of your comfort.
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