What does consistency mean in dating?
Predictable effort, communication, and follow-through over time.
dating
Ask for effort without begging.
Asking for consistency is not asking for too much. It is asking for alignment.
Ready-to-send scripts
StandardI need consistent effort if we continue dating.
I am not available for sporadic attention. I need clear communication.
If consistency is not possible, we are not a fit.
If they push back
- This is my standard, not a negotiation.
- If it feels like pressure, we probably want different things.
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FAQs
How soon should I ask for consistency?
Ask when unclear behavior starts affecting your peace.
Is asking for consistency needy?
No. It is a healthy baseline for secure connection.
What if they cannot meet it?
Believe that information and choose accordingly.
Can I use this message in a phone call instead of text?
Yes. Keep the same core point and shorten it to one or two clear sentences for spoken delivery.
When should I switch to a firmer tone?
Use firm tone after your boundary has been stated clearly and is still ignored. Repeat once, then follow through.
Need deeper support?
These third-party resources can help with communication skills and emotional boundaries.
Boundary Skills Mini Course
Short practical lessons on calm, respectful boundary communication.
View courseCommunication Workbook
Guided prompts for hard conversations without guilt spirals.
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